5 Tips for a Good Day

5 Tips for a Good Day

So it’s February.  And the newness of 2017, the feelgood promise of new beginnings, affirmations and resolutions have faded.

I’m in a rut ya’ll.

Call it seasonal depression. Maybe I need two cups of coffee to jumpstart my mood.

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It’s a tot potty, in front of a real potty with a potty seat on top. We got it covered from all angles.

Maybe its that one toddler is potty-training but now uses the darn thing every 15-minutes. I’d put a diaper on him if I could find one that fits a 40lb three-year-old. And baby #2 is teething and leaves puddles of drool EVERYWHERE. Not to mention she screams and cries at the drop of a hat now.

I’m overwhelmed by mommyhood. I’m trying to balance a freelance career and deadlines with being a stay-at-home mom. I’m trying to stay crazy in love (and not just, you know, crazy and married).

I’m trying to be the Bestest Mommy Ever. (It’s as impractical as it is ungrammatical folks. See what I did there… a little sexy syntax and wordplay for ya Thursday!)

But I’m determined not to stay in this rut.

I’ve been collecting great quotes and positive words on Pinterest lately and I recently came across a great set of daily affirmations from the Levo League, a life hack and style website. The post was from 2015 but still feels timely to me. I shrunk my list and adapted it for my daily life. It’s pretty short, which means if I can master these changes and make lifestyle adjustments, hopefully they will last longer.

1. Wake up early.

Cus opening your eyes just as the first kid starts crying in the crib, which wakes up the other kid, ain’t working out. I start out frazzled and end up playing catch up all day.

2. Read something positive and meditate on how to include it in your life.

Holla. Seriously though, this can set you in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day. I’ve been reading the book of Ecclesiastes and meditating on Solomon’s wisdom about purpose in life and using our time on Earth wisely. If that don’t set ya straight….

3. Take a shower.

Mandatory self-care. Daily.

4. Text or call two people to say good morning and wish them a good day.

For me, this is about passing on good vibes to other folks. And this keeps me from getting bogged down and drowning in my own muck. Reach out and call, or at least text somebody and let them know you thinking about them. It feels good too.

5. Make a to-do list with five tasks to tackle.

This has been helping me prioritize my tasks and get stuff done.  I keep it short so I don’t overwhelm myself. And if I’m having a slow day, I put in stuff like Eat. Feed the kids. Brush my teeth. And check’em off when I’m done. By the end of the day, I have a record of productivity (at least they ate food, right?)

Short and sweet. Five changes to get you in the mode and the mood to have a good day.

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Enjoying a warm winter day in January.

Life is getting better.

I’d like to incorporate a nap or daily exercise too, but I’m pacing myself.

What are your tips for having a good day?  Feel free to share yours in the comments below; it’s always encouraging to hear how other mommies are keeping it together.

Thanks for reading! Love and Peace!

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5 tips to nurse and run a 5K Like A Boss

5 tips to nurse and run a 5K Like A Boss

How is this lady with the seeing eye dog about to pass me?

She had been gaining on me for a while. She was like a mirage, inspirational and mostly unbelievable.  The lady and the dog were running in sync, panting in rhythm and they were quickly gliding right pass me.

I ran my first 5K (3.1 miles) this weekend and although I wasn’t planning on being competitive, I was not letting this lady with the seeing eye dog outrun me.

My Runkeeper app told me I was at the 2.7-mile mark, and I opened up the throttle. I straightened up, threw my shoulders back and let my legs fly underneath me. I felt tears streaming out of my eyes and whip back toward my ears.  I literally started to feel like a kid again, running around the playground, trying to achieve a mile run in gym class under 10 minutes.

I felt the roar of applause in my ears as I lengthened my stride and sprinted across the finish line. Was that photographer snapping my picture? Just in case, let me force a sweaty smile. No Tavia. No. They’re applauding the lady with the seeing eye dog who crossed at the same time as you. 

In any case, I reached my goal. This race fulfilled my promise to myself to be a fit mom who is healthy and physically and emotionally balanced for my family, but mostly for myself.

And it felt AMAZING! I have been pregnant or nursing for the past three years with no breaks in between. My mid-thirties body has experienced the rigors of pregnancy and childbirth. Twice.  So to get to this point of pushing my body to run (mostly) for three miles, 14 months after giving birth, feels like a tremendous accomplishment.

And did I mention that I’m still nursing?

The product of pre-race pumping. 10 ounces!

I pumped 10 ounces of milk the morning of the race. I sipped some water but I didn’t want to keep running to the bathroom during the race so I didn’t drink anymore.  BAD IDEA. I typically try to guzzle a bottle of water every time I nurse. But common sense didn’t prevail this morning. My legs hurt really bad all day after the race. I was so tired and lethargic I could barely get off the couch. I was super dehydrated.

So tip of the day: Stay hydrated if you’re gonna pump 10 ounces of milk before a 5k. And here’s a few more tips for nursing moms who want to set a goal of running a 5K in the future:

1. Wear a good, supportive sports bra. And take it off as soon as the race is finished. Too much prolonged restriction can actually be painful and restrict the flow of milk.

2. Pump or nurse as close to the start of the race as possible. Empty both breasts.

3. Stay hydrated, particularly after nursing, even if it means you have to go to the bathroom during the race. This race is for you but you are still a nursing mom.

4. Wear comfortable underwear that will fit over that loose baby belly and doesn’t get caught underneath it, where it can rub on a C-Section scar.

5. Have a good nutritious meal afterward to replenish your body or opt for a good post-race smoothie to replenish nutrients and help with recovery.

And then kick back and soak it all in. Cus you’re a boss!

Learning to banish negative self-talk

Learning to banish negative self-talk

Refuse to give in to the negative self-talk that happens in our heads. Banish it.

I felt myself retreating into a corner this week, more like a hole. I felt like my creativity was getting choked, like an editor was hovered over me criticizing my work, deleting my articles and replacing type with question marks.

But none of that was real. It was all anxiety, smoke shoveled into my mind to shutdown my work. And I was doing it to myself.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever shutdown a dream, an idea, a vision, with negative self talk and scenarios that haven’t even happened?

Well it has happened to me. Alot. And the reason is fear. Fear of failure. Sometimes it’s masked as procrastination, or mommy brain (I hate that phrase) or fatigue or I-just-don’t-have-time-to-do-it-all.

But I do. I do the things I want to do. Don’t we all? We make time for the things we really want to do.

But if I start, maybe I’ll stop in the middle, and an incomplete project seems worse than never having the idea leave my mind. 

And there it is, an imagined failure over a unrealized plan never set in motion in the first place. Fake fears shoveling smoke and masking fruition.

So I didn’t blog all week. Because I kept looking at my wordpress stats and thinking no one is reading this and I don’t have anything unique to say and those two blog views from China were probably hackers anyway.

But I kept jotting down ideas for new posts, like how my son put himself in a time out after drinking my coffee.


Or how my baby girl, who spent the first week of her life in intensive care, is now wrestling her 40lb brother to the ground.

Or how I spent an hour this week speaking to a refugee family about hope. In Swahili. Yes, I had a productive conversation in Swahili, a language I’ve been trying to grasp for more than five years now.
There is inspiration all round me.  How can I not write about that or share it with someone in the hopes it will inspire them?

But everyone is a mommy blogger nowadays. It doesn’t matter if there are already a thousand mom blogs. Didn’t Seinfeld conceive and write an entire show about nothing? For nine seasons? Is that even a helpful example?

Negative self talk is real and it can feed fears that make you immobile and paralyzed, unable to progress or move forward. I have to banish it as soon as it starts and replace it with positive, encouraging talk. Even speaking it out loud helps to drown out the negative noise.

Tavia you really do have a track record of finishing projects. Remember, you have been a published author and journalist for more than 15 years now. And you just set up this blog last week boo, so it’s a bit unrealistic to expect 20k followers but give it time. 

Yea! Yes! Yaaaaasssss! Take that fear!

Keep it up and I’ll give it to you in Swahili too.